his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
