her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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