Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We are two peas in an std pod
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
