When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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