Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I am never drinking with the goths again.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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