I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
