Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
