is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize