How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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