You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
