Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
