i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
