It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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