i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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