just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
