I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
