I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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