I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
