This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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