So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you would pick up someone in the library
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
