it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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