You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
