Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
