I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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