even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
