One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize