we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
