I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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