Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
