we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
