the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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