got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize
