Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
