whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
