What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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