I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
