We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
