I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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