I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
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