And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
don't judge my taste in strippers
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
