508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
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