i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
