I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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