remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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