You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
