just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He felt like a one man threesome
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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