Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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