VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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