her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
