Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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