One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
