apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
