you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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