i will never coherently bang her
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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