my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
