If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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