K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
